


Pain and Regrets

by 20mcdanno_fanatic10



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-09-05
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20mcdanno_fanatic10/pseuds/20mcdanno_fanatic10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after episode, "Cold Comforts"...this little story just popped into my mind>andy's crying harder than she ever cried before and she starts running. she ends up across the street in front of sam's apt...she's standing there crying wondering where she went wrong when she's being pulled into the bushes and she's attacked. she screams out for sam....can he save her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She couldn't believe he just left her like that-left without saying goodbye or fighting for her like he promised. Andy stood there for a few minutes just crying her eyes out before jetting out into a run. She ran so far so fast that before she knew it she was standing across the street in front of Sam's place. 'Did I not comfort him enough? Where did I go wrong? Why are you pushing me away Sam?' She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear someone creeping up behind her. 

The next thing she knows is she's being pulled into the bushes. It happened so fast before she could fight him off because she felt the cold metal of handcuffs around her wrists behind her. His hand left her mouth for a second and she took that second to scream as loudly as she could, "SAMMMMM!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!" She screamed louder than she'd ever screamed before hoping that someone-namly Sam saved her but then her screams were silenced by duct tape and felt her airway being cut off to the point where she blackout for a few seconds. When she came too again she could feel him inside her and even though her arms were underneth her, handcuffed, she could and would try to fight him off using her legs. She pulled up her knees, got her feet underneth his ribcage and pushed him off then she slid her arms under her legs and got them in front of her and jumped up. She saw that her pants and underware were shreded. But before she could fight him; he came up behind her knocked her out then he pulled out a knife and started leaving little cuts on her arms and legs. Then stabbed her right in the middle of her chest, pulled out the knife and just left her there. 

Now she was laying there bleeding out. As she came around a few minutes later she felt pain and something warm oozing out. She brought her hand up to her chest and could feel the stab wound. She knew she had to get help or else she would die. She took the ripped up panites, srunched them up and put it on the opened wound to act like guaze. Now getting up was harder to do since she was trying to hold it in place while still being handcuffed so deciding not to get up because first she got dizzy when she'd sat up and second it'd be easier just to crawl over to Sam's truck which is what she did. Thankfully there were no cars on the street making it safer for her to cross. She hurried as quickly and painfully as she could which only took her 10 minutes because she kept getting out of breath and would have to stop for a second before going on. Once she made it to his truck she slide herself up the side and looked in the bed of the truck to see if there was a crowbar in there so she could smash the window which there was and she did smash it with all her engery that was left over. Unfortately the impact sent her to ground as well, she knew she was in trouble now because she was having a very hard time catching her breath. As her eyes slowly closed shut, she whispered, "I love you Sam-always and forever-my Sam." Back in the apartment Sam was sleeping off the alcohol he'd drank since he got home in his bed when all of a sudden he was jolted by the blaring sound of his truck alarm going off. He went to the window and saw glass on the ground and what looked like an arm on the ground-that sobered him up. He put on some sweat pants and tee-shirt and shoes, grabbed his keys and ran out. Shutting the alarm off he looked around and there was nobody around-he thought he imagined an arm until he went around the front of the truck and what he saw made him sick. Andy was laying there half-naked, handcuffed and she was clutching something in her hands over her chest to stop the bleeding. It had helped but he knew she needed to get to a hospital now-she was on limited time and he was not going to loose her also. He bent down with tears pouring in his eyes, checked her pulse; it was barely there but it was still there. He heard a groan, "Sssam, heelpp mee-I...I love you." He grabbed his cell in his pocket and called the paramedics-they said they'd be there in five minutes but that was not satisfactory to him and told them that he'd meet them at the hospital. He unlocked the truck and started it to warm it up because she was shivering. He carefully picked her up bridal style, she moaned in pain but her eyes were still closed. By now she was paler than ever, her lips were turning blue and she was not waking up. "Please Andy don't leave me too-I'm so sorry I said that; I should've never said that to you knowing what you've been through. Andrea I hope you can hear me and I'll keep saying it the rest of our lives-I love you, I love you so much it hurts and maybe in a couple of years we could get married and have a family. Andy I need to spend the rest of my life with you because I honest to God can't imagine it without you." He was spilling his heart out to her even though she wasn't responsive but he just prayed that she could hear him.


	2. Chapter 2: Comatose

When Andy awoke she felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, could feel the cool ocean breeze and hear the gentle waves rolling against the shore. She sat up and looked around and it looked like a beach. Then she saw someone walking towards her; the figure looked very familar-long, tall and skinny with short wavy black hair.

"Hello?" She called out to the mystery man and he kind of ran towards her then she smiled, laughed and cried with tears because she knew who it was. She ran towards him also and they embraced in a loving brother-sisterly hug, "Jerry" She muffled into his chest as she hugged him tighter before they broke apart and walked over to one of the palm trees and sat down, "So does this mean I'm dead?"

"Well hello to you too."

"Sorry I just want to know if I'm dead or not?"

Jerry flashed one of his smirky smiles, "No you're not-the doctors had to put you into medically indused coma so your heart could heal; they put you on a vent also."

"Okay...so how come I can see you?" She was know sporting a very confused face.

"I don't know-maybe you missed me, maybe you aren't sure if you want to come back, maybe I'm just a figment of your imagination."

"Well thanks for giving me tons of answers-should I choose one?" She replied sarcastically and this made Jerry laugh which made her laugh, "Oh Jerry you don't know how much we all miss you, espicially Trace-she hasn't been the same since it happened-it's like a big part of her died and now she's just going through the motions. I guess a part of all us died that day, it all changed us."

"I'm sorry"

"You should be...do you know that Sam-my Sam-the one who pined for me for 2 freaking years took it out on me and now he pushed me so far away that we broke up! Because of your death I've lost the only man I truly loved!" She shouted at him with pain, sadness and defeat lacing her voice as tears streamed down her cheeks, "Why didn't fight to live?" She breathed out as she pulled her knees up and put her head in her hands. She felt him lovingly wrap his arms around her, "I'm so sorry"

"That's all you have to say-you're so sorry!"

"Andy"

"NO! Don't you 'Andy' me! Do you know how unfair this is? Do you know how many nights Tracy's spent crying! Huh-well do you?"

"No I don't but I made sure she was taken care of incase something happened. I never should've went over there without someone coming with me-I made the biggest rookie mistake. Next time I'll take someone with me"

"What do you mean next time? There will never be another next time!" Now she was confused and angry.

"Andy did they ever show you or Tracy the body?"

"No they said that we should remember you as you were-why?"

"Well then how do you know it was me that they buried, if I was really dead I wouldn't be here; just think about it"

Andy rubbed her head-this was all too much for her, "So you faked your death! While all of us are in extream pain and sorrow over you! That is still not right-you could've told someone! Damnit Jerry-why didn't you?"

"Because I'm in a coma also."

She gasped and Jerry looked concerned, "You alright Andy?"

"I don't know."

"What's wrong?"

"My chest...it feels tight and I can't breath...oh god I can't die-SAM!" Was the last thing out of her mouth before she blackout.

Meanwhile in the hospital room Sam was praying as he held her hand. It was the first time in a long time since he prayed but he loved Andy more than anything and would do anything to get her back. When he carried her bridal style, they hooked her up and she wasn't breathing-the knife sliced her heart and blood was pooling around it causing it to suffocate. They eventually got her stablized enough to rush her into emergancy surgery where they repaired her heart but they had to intubate and put her into a medically indused coma so that she could heal. Now as he gripped her hand saying a montra of I'm sorry over and over the machines started going off and he saw that line go flat. He rushed out calling the doctor saying that she coded and she's not breathing. They pushed him out of the way as they pushed the paddles into the room and got her prepared to get shocked.

Shocked once-nothing

Twice-still nothing

Third time they shocked her-she was back and breathing again. Everything sighed relief and glad that they didn't loose her. The doctor came out and Sam rushed forward, "Please doc, please tell me she's still alive." He pleaded-his voice didn't sound like the Sam everyone knew-no this voice was more broken and pain filled as he pleaded with the doctor.

The doctor patted his shoulder, "We shocked her 3 times and got her back."

"What would cause this?"

"It's probably all the trauma she's recieved and extream stress. There's something else..."

"What is it?"

"You said you found her half-clothed?"

"Yes"

"Well there's evidence of rape. I'm so sorry..."

"What! You mean to tell you conducted a rape kit without permission! I could sue you and hospital but I'm not going to do that since you are looking after her welfare. Well did you get any DNA?"

"Yes we did"

"Good let me have it?"

"I can't give it to you"

"And why not?"

"I had to give to SVU-they're the ones who handles these types of cases. The officers will be up here shortly."

BACK AT THE BEACH:

This next time she woke up she was in a bed and saw that Jerry was sitting a chair, "Jer" she rasped out-her throat very dry. He immediately came to her side, "Hey"

"Hi"

"I thought we lost you"

"What happened?"

"Your heart stopped-they had to shock you three times to get you back."

"Yeah me too...listen Jerry I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, it's just that-this has been really hard on all of us espicially Tracy and Sam."

"So I am Andy"

"Why are you in a coma also?"

"They needed my body to heal-the stab wound was very deep. I came so close to dying and now I just want to wake up and go back to Tracy and marry her and have children."

At that last statement Andy looked down at her own stomach gently stroking it wishing she was pregnant with Sam's child. Jerry saw this and pulled her in for a comforting hug, "It's not fair Jer" She managed to get out before she crumpled into tears, "Sam is my one and only-for the first time I wanted to get married and have children with him but but he just pushed me away and left me like everyone else. I expect it from them but not Sam-I never expected Sam to leave me like that." She sobbed into his chest, holding on to him like a lifeline and he just held her tighter.

"shh it's going to be okay"

"How do you know that?"

"I know Sam and I know that he still and will always love you with his heart-You're everything to him."

"Thanks for saying that...can I tell you something?"

"Sure what is it?"

"Tracy's pregnant"

"What?"

"A few days after the thing she started throwing up every morning like clockwork before parade. I finally convinced her to go to the doctor; I went with her and it was positive."

"How far along is she?"

"Well I'm not sure now with everything that's happened with me and Sam but at the doctor's she said 2 weeks and she figured it happened the day before you got stabbed."

"Oh my god...I can't believe this...damn"

"Jerry I don't think I can stay here any longer...I feel something in me pulling"

"It's okay...it's just time for to go to Sam-tell him how much you love him and tell him about me."

"Okay but why did you fake your death?"

"So you could catch the bad guys."

"How did you tell the doctors?"

"I had woken up for a few minutes but they told me they had already told you guys that I was dead and then I got the idea-guess I'd seen too many movies."

They hugged one last time, "Okay time for you to go"

She started crying, "No please...what about you?"

"I'll wake up when it's time."

"but Jerry it's not fair...Sam will just push me away again...NO! You can't make me wake up if I don't want to, I'm staying here till it's time for you to wake up."

With that in mind she firmly sat down and didn't budge and Jerry knew not to agrue with her so he just sat down beside her, "Okay you don't have to go if you don't want to...the doctors probably just gave you some medicene to help wake you but if you don't want to then don't go."

"Thank you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me...leave comments, i'd really like to know what you think

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments...don't know where this came from but my muse just would not leave me alone with this story...hope you like it...


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